Salvation from the street corner
From a pamphlet recieved from a nice gentleman on the corner by the Walker Library. Usually I would bluntly turn down any literature tossed my way, but it was cold, and the guy seemed nice, so I just took it, said thank you, and kept walking.
Title: "This could be your last 5 Minutes alive!"
Inside, they describe what it would be like to go to the hospital, be declared dead, be sent to a funeral home, mourned, and buried. The message there - live every minute like it's your last. Not practical advice, really, but good food for thought. Fair enough.
Too bad they didn't stop there. On the next page, I'm confronted with the question "Where are you going when you die?" The options:
TO GO TO HELL...
Do nothing! You've already done enough!
TO GO TO HEAVEN ...
1) Believe you are a sinner. [Sweet, I'm thinking, I'm 25% of the way to salvation, baby! This is easy!]
2) Believe you deserve to go to hell. [Crap. Still at 25%. I'm a good person, I don't understand. What's going on here?]
3) Believe Jesus died to pay for your sins. [Fark. This isn't looking good.]
4) Trust Jesus as your savior. [Bloody hell! What does this one even mean?]
Now what. Surely this game is rigged. They give better odds on the Price Is Right. Don't I get a door prize or something? Thanks a lot, old man. Good thing I take NO ORGANIZED RELIGION seriously. And neither should you. I mean, believe whatever you want. I just recommend questioning everything and finding your own path.
Title: "This could be your last 5 Minutes alive!"
Inside, they describe what it would be like to go to the hospital, be declared dead, be sent to a funeral home, mourned, and buried. The message there - live every minute like it's your last. Not practical advice, really, but good food for thought. Fair enough.
Too bad they didn't stop there. On the next page, I'm confronted with the question "Where are you going when you die?" The options:
TO GO TO HELL...
Do nothing! You've already done enough!
TO GO TO HEAVEN ...
1) Believe you are a sinner. [Sweet, I'm thinking, I'm 25% of the way to salvation, baby! This is easy!]
2) Believe you deserve to go to hell. [Crap. Still at 25%. I'm a good person, I don't understand. What's going on here?]
3) Believe Jesus died to pay for your sins. [Fark. This isn't looking good.]
4) Trust Jesus as your savior. [Bloody hell! What does this one even mean?]
Now what. Surely this game is rigged. They give better odds on the Price Is Right. Don't I get a door prize or something? Thanks a lot, old man. Good thing I take NO ORGANIZED RELIGION seriously. And neither should you. I mean, believe whatever you want. I just recommend questioning everything and finding your own path.
posted by equipoise at 7:29 PM
2 Comments:
You don't question this stuff boy. Questions are an automatic ticket to hell. Do not pass GO, do not collect $200.
I remember when Jesse Ventura did that Playboy interview and he said "Religion is a crutch for the weak-minded". Classic. Just think, that guy on the corner could be devoting his energy to all sorts of worthwhile pursuits, but instead he chooses to waste his life saving your soul. Truth be told, he doesn't care about your soul any farther than he sees that it's his one-way ticket to heaven. That's why I think all religions are bullshit. Because they all stress some end-of-life reward for good behavior. A real religion would have its followers doing good because it's the right thing to do, not because it's a free ride to eternal bliss.
Personally, I like the old 18th Century American Colonial-style Calvinism. The Calvinists taught that all people were predestined to hell or heaven, and no amount of earthly good works (or bad works) was going to change that outcome (unless, for some reason, or no reason at all, God decided to tweak the system). Now THAT is some humility for a people before their "Almighty God". Nowadays everyone wants to have a personal relationship with the supreme creator of the universe. Like he/she/it has the time to be bothered. Talk about arrogance.
Jim
Post a Comment
<< Home